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  • kieran049

Be Your Own Life Coach - #6 How To Ask For Help


In the last article, I touched on something called “modelling” and I didn’t mean shimmying up and down a catwalk! It refers to the process of basically copying the experience, actions and behaviour of somebody who has done, or achieved, something that you wish to do or achieve. It sounds simple and it pretty much is. However, like most things, a little instruction is always useful.


Now I will give more detail on how to best model somebody. Details are the key. Copy someone in a vague way and you miss out on the key things that separate them from the rest.


There are some people who we cannot get to know personally, but who have achieved our goal in the past. Famous people perhaps. So firstly let’s use them as best we can. Write down the names of at least three of these people and the qualities or characteristics you think helped them achieve what they did. From time to time it is a very useful exercise to imagine what advice they would give to you in your current situation, or to imagine what they would do if they were you. Find out as much as you can about them. Learn from their mistakes. This can save you a lot of wasted time and effort.


Then there are people who you know personally, or could get to meet and actually speak to. These are great opportunities and not to be wasted. In the last article I spoke about asking questions. Now we will look at how to do this more effectively, in detail. (There’s that word again!)


There are five main tips to asking intelligent and precise questions, which should give you the information you want and need.


The first is to ask for what you want in as much detail as you can, both of yourself and others. Don’t be vague. Can you imagine going to a shop and asking for “a shirt”? What are the chances of being happy with what you are given in response?


Secondly, choose carefully whom you ask. You can be as specific as you like about your shirt in a shoe shop, but they will not be able to help you! So ask your specific question of someone who has the skills, experience or understanding, for example, to be able to be of assistance to you.


Offer some gain to the person you are asking. Make it attractive to them to help you. This does not necessarily mean paying them with money. (If you were asking for money, obviously there would have to be something in it for them). But there can be something in it for them in other ways too. Some may simply be flattered by your interest and admiration. Others may be interested in sharing in some way in your future success. Could you be helpful to them in some way? Be creative.


Be sure to ask your questions with belief and confidence. If you can portray this, the person you are asking will more likely feel that you are worth helping and are going to succeed.


Lastly, keep asking until you get what you want. Even doing all the first four things properly, you may not have found the person who can satisfy your needs. Successful people keep asking, keep trying until they get what they want.




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